We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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