What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
