no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I think i got beer on your cat.
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