Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
