i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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