Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
