i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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