Sponge bath it is.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
