I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
