so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Randomize
