Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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