On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I cockslap morals
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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