he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
