His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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