Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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