we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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