Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
