i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
