Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
