How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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