Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
