I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
