JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
