You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
