Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
