Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
