I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
