question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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