so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
where does the pee come out of this thing
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If I die, sorry about rent.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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