Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
