My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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