Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
