The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
