there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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