what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
