lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
