I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
