do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
