why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
