North Korea, Best Korea!
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
