dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
