He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Randomize
