Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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