i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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