when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
