Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Randomize
