I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
please don't ironically join a cult
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