u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
