i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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