ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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