I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
The best revenge is premature balding
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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