It's a beautiful day for a hangover
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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